She Sits In Silence

She was born into a world of chaos and was born to be the “light.” The pressure to be the light in the darkness brought her to rock bottom. She sat in therapy, and her therapist asked her to tell her life story. She went on to talk about the pain she went through. Ultimately, her therapist asked her to describe herself. She went on to tell them what others describe her as.

“People say I am goofy, kind, gentle...”

 Her therapist interrupts and asks the same question, and she looks up at them.

“How would YOU describe yourself?”

She sat in silence. She had no clue who she was. She had spent her whole life making sure everyone was happy. She spent a second trying to find out who she was. But deep down, she knew, but she had hidden it under years of scars.

She sits on that office couch in silence. She feels the burdens of her entire life pulling her more and more into that couch until she can’t breathe anymore. She sits on that couch in silence. She sees all her memories fly by the window. She sits on that couch in silence. She hears everyone’s thoughts and feelings in her ears. She sits on that couch in silence.

Her therapist leans forward and grabs her hand. They make eye contact. They sit in silence. She knows all the words that need to be said. She knows the how-to speech, but she can’t get to it. She is chained to that couch in silence.

Her body might have physically left that office that day, but her soul is still there. She has spent her whole life helping and hearing other people’s problems. It is her turn to talk about what has happened. They hurt her. They hurt her so deeply that she can’t write these stupid words.