GOD, I AM HERE

I have struggled over the years with my relationship with you, God. I know have walked in and out of my life with you. I have asked for another chance multiple times; I just hope you will let me ask one more time. So, I step onto your doorstep, about to knock on your door. I stand conflicted if you are even there or ever existed. I look back on my life and how I have lived. I have hated you for something you didn’t do. I have blamed the actions and beliefs of someone else on you. I have struggled to believe you exist because why would a God who loves let bad things happen to me. Why do I keep falling? Then I remember that you gave us free will, and with that, our bodies and souls are vulnerable to the devil and the world. It wasn’t you who caused all this chaos in my life. So, I come to your doorstep one last time. I hesitate to knock on the door. What if you aren’t real? Am I wasting my entire life believing in a fake god? Is there anything after death? What if there isn’t anything after death? I asked myself these questions over and over. I contemplate just turning around and leaving. But I decided to stay at your doorstep. I brush off all the disbelief, and I knock on that door. It opens wide. I see light and life. I have not seen you yet, God, but I am surrounded by life and warmth. I know you are somewhere in there. I will continue to look for you. I just want you to know I am here, God.