Ash Grey

Yes, I am writing about one of my cats. Most might think I am strange, but that cat has been my best friend through rough moments in my life. Ash was born on March 15^th, 2019, in the late hours. He was the runt of his litter. I arrived the next day and held him in my arms. When he opened his eyes for the first time, he saw me. From that day to now, we have been inseparable. When I turned 18, I moved in with my now ex. I raised Ash from there on. He was wild but shy. The first month there was great, but as summer came, life changed. My ex and his family became emotionally abusive. I held Ash so close to me. I looked into those little eyes, and I could see his fear. I was scared every time I left that house. Every time I came back, I would find him in danger. I found him locked in a dryer, microwave, or left in a cage with kittens with worms and shit. I would be lying in my bed with Ash, and my ex would grab him and blow weed into his face. I would tell him to stop, and he would just shove me out of the way. There were nights I would lock myself in that room with him and just hide on our bed. I would cry for hours, and Ash would curl up with me. Then my ex started to drink on top of smoking weed and tobacco. He would guilt me into having sex with him and would mentally tear me to pieces. Ash was forced to see it all. I was so broken. The only one I had was Ash. I would sit on my bed every day, staring at a wall for hours, just holding Ash. My ex would come home from work and drink, and make me clean up the pieces. Then he went on and on about wanting to have a child with me. I would pray to God in silence that he would make sure I got out of there. Fall finally came, and I went back to school. My ex hated that I went to school. He was always scared that I would cheat on him. He told me that I needed to come home right after school. I finally put my foot down, and I went to my best friend, and he helped me talk to my parents, and I decided to leave. The night before, I was going to leave. My ex could see there was something off. He kept on nagging me over and over. I finally broke down and told him I wanted to leave. He freaked out and acted like he was the victim. I was so scared. His family was all in the house, and the entire street was full of his family. I grabbed everything I could fit into my backpack. I sadly left Ash there. I couldn’t grab him yet. I regret not just calling my parents and taking Ash with me that night. I was under a lot of stress. I left that night with my backpack and my phone. I walked a mile or so down the road to the future ex named “A.” I thought I found a safe place for a night. Little did I know it opened a door to a bigger mess. The next day, I came back and grabbed my baby. He was so scared, but so excited to see me. I am not sure how that night went for him, but all I knew was that he was safe with me. I brought him to the vet and nursed him back to health. He was sadly left with a reminder of his past. He now has feline asthma. Ash is my trauma-bonding cat. He is my son and my life. He is a reminder of how I got out. I promised him I would never let anyone hurt us again. So, I protect him with all my heart.